'Mental health' - I think we have been hearing this word more than ever since we were struck by the COVID pandemic.
Social isolation and loneliness is the main cause, followed by uncertainty and fear of infection. But, loss of job/earnings could be closer to many of us. I will be soon joining the statistics.
Over the year, we have become more aware of mental well-being, seeing more workshops for mental 'resiliency', mindfulness exercises, yoga lessons, and information. I can add occupational health that provides free counselling, too.
When mental health is laid out as 'something to improve/promote', it becomes the person's responsibility to fall ill because he/she did not look after him/herself.
But is it always the case?
Some things are inevitable - losing business, jobs, assets, a partner, close friends... you name it. It is not totally within our control, isn't it?
The media says we will see more unemployed people soon when the furlough scheme ends. Should we tell them they should work on their mindfulness and exercises to keep up with their mental resiliency? Or book an appointment with a counsellor?
No, no!!! Why do we make ourselves distant because the other one is mentally ill? No need for it. The mindset of 'healthy = in control' vs. 'ill-health = not in control" is placing mentally ill people further in a deep mental pit unnecessarily because we do not communicate with each other.
Nothing to say? Have no idea what to say? Afraid of saying wrong things?
But what about 'care'? Could you tell the person, "I care for you?" and be there for him/her. You really need to mean it, though. It cannot be treated as a casual greeting and you have done a lifetime duty by saying it. You have no idea not needing to take a huge effort to talk to someone is a huge relief for an emotionally disturbed person. When I was really down, a friend of mine came and took me for a walk to the local park. At that time, my mind was dead and numb, but my body was functioning. By walking and chatting un-trivial things with her helped to clear some fogs in my mind. Before that, I really felt no one care and I was trapped in that thoughts.
But this person, my friend took her time out, came for me and walked with me. That put matters around me into perspective.
One word, one action - being reassured that we matter is what we need more than anything.
